Like Love (always there, never here)

I'm always there, watching you pretending to care.

I'm always there, seeing you cutting your hair.
I'm always there, hearing you playing fair.
I'm always here, wanting you, but never getting near.

If I were there, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't dare
To tell you what I want to tell you.
So I stay here, learning to cope with fear
And resisting getting close to you.

When we talk, I never say the things I plan to say
When I'm far away from you.
I guess it's sad never having had a day
Of happiness in someone else's arms.

But what do I care, you are over there.
I am here, and always will be.
The wise man prays as a claim for a share
Is made, and I never bid.

I never gave myself the chance.
I always blow my chances.
Like a foster child with something to hide.
Like a sinking ship we failed to equip.
Like a drowning man, who never can.
Like a screaming fish, making a last wish.
Like love.

Birmingham, early 1986 - for ME